All Resources & Writing
It’s Not Really About the Dishes (Part I): Secondary Communications
With an unpleasant face your partner says, “You didn’t do the dishes last night.”
This is a common enough phrase, right? It’s not really about the dishes! This is the primary communication, or what is said aloud. There’s more meaning to this statement than just what was said. When this meaning is openly discussed, your partner’s upset and concern can be fully addressed, allowing you both to move forward instead of repeating nasty patterns.
It’s Not Really About the Dishes (Part II): Getting To the Root of an Issue with Your Partner
When your partner/spouse is frustrated that you didn’t do the dishes, it’s likely more meaningful than annoyance over a household chore.
Dirty dishes is a simple metaphor for day-to-day, mundane interactions within a couple that can be ripe for projections—making up a personal story and meaning for someone’s behavior.
A sink full of dirty dishes is trivial. It’s about what your not doing the dishes signifies for your partner. There are ways of communicating with your partner that can get to the bottom of issues faster and yield more self-understanding for both of you.
What is Polyamory?
What differentiates between polyamory and other kinds of nonmonogamy is that the assumption is that there will be multiple relationships that are both sexual and emotional. This means multiple significant relationships are simultaneously maintained. They usually contain characteristics of an important partner or lover—friendship, romance, emotional intimacy, spiritual connection, commitment, or love.
When to Open Your Marriage/Relationship or Become Poly
You might be interested in a different structure than monogamy:
You want to have multiple relationships and develop relationships on your terms
You have the desire and capacity to have emotional and sexual intimacy with, and perhaps commit to, more than one partner.
You want “more than sex” from your additional relationship
You would like to experience a different couple dynamic than monogamy
You are interested in exploring your affinity for different genders or types of sex
You believe another relationship might augment your existing couple life
Challenging Insecurity in Monogamy & Nonmonogamy
What differentiates between polyamory and other kinds of nonmonogamy is that the assumption is that there will be multiple relationships that are both sexual and emotional. This means multiple significant relationships are simultaneously maintained. They usually contain characteristics of an important partner or lover—friendship, romance, emotional intimacy, spiritual connection, commitment, or love.